Tori’s Writing Hole

It’s not an easy thing. There are so damn many ideas floating around in this head of mine, inspirations, snippits of poems and alliterations - and they all run out of my ears like so much water. I could have written a novel alone on the ideas that came to me in the middle of the night, only to be forgotten when the screams of Daddy, Mommy pierce the air. It’s love, not duty that has me abandon the idea of having a bedside notebook full of ideas - I couldn’t spend enough time writing them down before I’d run to my daughter’s side.

Pens seem to attract kids most of all, or at least my kid. Sure, she knows what to do with the pen (scribble, write her name, decorate her fingers with stains) and she wants to know why I’m keeping this fun toy from her. Open your Moleskine, poise your pen over the cream paper and… “Mom, can I write? Mom, mommy, mom? (Bang bongo drum that seemed like a good, cultural toy when you purchased it). Mom, I’m hungry. Mom, give me that pen…”

Funnily enough, she’s giving me full access to this piece of writing, this complaint. But if she smelled creativity on the air, well, it would be all over, buster.

writing, mom, poetry

“Aww, he’s soooo cute!” Julia said, snuggling up to the pink stuffed dog in the front of Victoria’s Secret. We smiled, let her hug the thing, and Stephen obliged her by taking a picture with his cell phone.

“I wanna have his babies.” Blank look. A beg for repeat - “I wanna have his babies.” Julia said strongly.

Stephen - “You mean… you want a baby version of him?”

Julia - “Yes, I want a little virgin.”

Me - trying not to wet my pants so that I need to buy new ones. At least I was in the right store.

toddler, mall, shopping

when you can’t bend. I hurt my back - in bed. Not in a good way, mind you, but in a tossing-turning stressed and can’t sleep way. So I’ve spent most of my day propped up in the corner of my thankfully highly comfortable couch, and I’ve been looking at all the things I want to do but can’t.

Did you know dogs make a lot of mess while shedding? And kids leave tiny, potentially injuring toys everywhere? And by everywhere, I mean places I can’t bend to reach? Ugh.

I’ve been sitting here trying to get some work done, heck, I can’t do much because of the back - but it’s hard trying to think while Dora the Explorer shouts about sticky tape and commercials blare for even more annoying shows like Blue’s Clues. Needless to say, no novels will be written while J still watches toddler TV.

Stumbling, I happened upon death photos, and I’ve become gruesomely fascinated. That and momento mori. I can say this is all research, right? I’m not really this morbid?

I’ve got some ideas though, non-The Others ideas…

backache, writing, death, photography

“This little piggy had a market
this little piggy had a cook
this little piggy had a hooo-eee
this little piggy didn’t have anything to eat
and this little piggy has a *mumble, mumble*”

Heard while counting Mommy’s toes…

toddler, piggies, toes

I was going to write about 9/11… seven years ago, the horror, the still gaping hole in our society and the fear, oh the fear…

But then I decided to move on and write about my daughter, perhaps my favorite subject in the world. You know how photogs have favorite subjects? Well, as a writer, nothing can be more fascinating than watching the development of a mini-me.

She’s naughty now, oh so naughty - I guess all that angelic behavior caught up with us and we’re experiencing the torrid three’s. She’s grown, oh how she’s grown in the last few months (perhaps some of her mood change is because of this?) and wears a size 4-5 now.

The best is her mind - her beautiful, twisted mind. Her new favorite game comes at lunch time, when I administer the organic, tiger shaped chewable (crunchy) vitamins. Julia was used to gummies, but these were better for her and on sale, so we got them. However, the eating of the vitamins requires a bit of coaxing, resulting in the twisted game. Julia eats two vitamins, and makes sure that one is labeled “Mommy Kitty” and the other, “Big Girl Kitty”. I must make the Mommy Kitty talk to the Big Girl Kitty about how nice it is to go into Julia’s mouth, be crunched up and end up in her tummy. Then, depending on the day, Mommy or Big Girl kitty “leaps” into Julia’s mouth and is eaten.

Weird enough? There’s more - then, the remaining kitty (remember, these are vitamins) gets sad, because her mommy/daughter has been eaten. So, I have to coax that vitamin into Julia’s mouth by asking “don’t you want to be in Julia’s tummy with your other kitty?”

The whole thing seems quite perverse, the eating, the personification of berry flavored vitamins, but hey, whatever works, right? I’m not turning Julia into a cold blooded kitten eater, am I?

toddler, vitamins, mommy, eating