Tori’s Writing Hole

about things people don’t know about me, about the shocking, the different, etc. Well, I really don’t think that what foods I enjoy are all that shocking and different (although, who knows? I mean, I guess there are still people out there who don’t like Indian food).

Maybe I’ll relate something else.

When I was little, one of my first remembrances of going to my grandparents’ house is because my grandmother had taken too many pills. Sure, I know we’d been there many times before that, but I have this clear memory of Omi (her German-diminutive Grandma-name) sitting on the grass in one of those woven canvas and plastic chairs, holding a cut crystal glass filled with 7up. I know it was 7up because she blubbered about it. There was spittle in the corners of her mouth, and I know we had to stay at the house while my father (it was his mother) and his dad took her to the ER. I believe the drug that time was Valium.

Of course, my grandfather succeeded where she failed (albeit with a different method).

Suicide’s a recurrent theme in my life. I’ve known many who no longer are because they decided to die at their own hands. I think it’s an even bigger deterrent sometimes to killing myself than anything - even than my massive fear of dying. I know what happens to those left behind.

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