Tori’s Writing Hole

on my side table. He’s surrounded by metal, ensconced in a faux wood grain cardboard box and he’s haunting me.

He doesn’t eat much, though he’s not asked for anything either, and I keep imagining that he’s going to jump out at me. This is not the first dead guy I’ve been in possession of, but hey. This one’s been here longer than the other temp dead guy.

He needs a home. Any takers? I mean, he’s a quiet dude, though this seems to be a recent development.

Fun fact: did you know they’re called cremains?

Tags: dead, ashes, dude

of fresh baked bread is like heaven’s perfume. Or at least what I’d imagine it to be. No chocolate, no lilies or other flowers - heaven is bread, steaming hot, in an oven.

I made challah bread again today (I’ll post the recipe below) and it smells fantastic. However, today’s specimen is not really picture-worthy (just a three braid, but it puffed a lot and looks sort of deformed). I love baking bread, even though I cheated and had the bread machine knead the dough for me.

In that bready smell, I imagine so much more than just food. I think about how my Mom’s mom used to bake white bread each week from scratch for their family. I think about how baking is so important to me, yet I really don’t need the kinds of food (even bread) that I bake. It’s so silly, but sometimes I feel more connected to scent than sound or sight for triggering memories.

I got this Challah (is it supposed to be capitalized? Darn my shikza brain) bread recipe from Dine and Dish, and while I know it would be easier to not braid the stuff and just bake it in a loaf pan like she does, well, I love a challenge.

Bread Machine Challah

3/4 cup warm water
1 large egg
3 tablespoons margarine, cut up (I use butter)
3 cups bread flour
4 tablespoons sugar
1 1/4 teaspoons salt
2 teaspoons active dry yeast

1. Add the water, the egg, the margarine, flour, sugar, salt & yeast to bread machine in the order recommended by the manufacturer.
2. Set the machine to the dough cycle
3. Once the dough cycle is complete, remove the dough from the machine and place in a lightly sprayed loaf pan.
4. Cover and allow to rise in a warm place for 30 minutes.
5. Place in a 350 degree oven and bake for 30 minutes or until brown on top and hollow sounding when tapped.

Here’s how I do it instead - I remove the dough from the machine and divide into three equal pieces. I oil up my hands and the dough (using canola oil spray) and then spray a baking sheet. I stretch the dough into strips, and braid - tucking the ends under. Then, the dough rises covered with a tea towel for 30 minutes.

When risen, I beat an egg and wash over the challah, then bake as directed.

OK, here’s a picture. I know you wanted one:

So try your own heaven! (See, told you it was deformed!)

Tags: baking, bread, home, heaven

if  I told you I was yet again sucking on bloody gauze? Of course you would. This is me we’re talking about. Well, onto my mouth saga (sounds way more interesting than it is…). It turns out when I had my wisdom teeth removed, some bacteria got underneath the tooth next to the wisdom tooth. It sat there, festered, and eventually inflamed all of the connector muscles in my jaw.

The antibiotics couldn’t reach this gold mine of ick, so I never got better. Today, the dr found the pus pocket and cut it open, ripping out the icky stuff and suctioning it out. I get to take more antibiotics (whoo hoo!) and more pain meds. Thank the gods that I got to at least have some nitrous during the procedure.

If this isn’t the answer, I want a new mouth.

Besides this, I’m dealing with a crisis of brain, of thoughts, of spirituality and more. Pagan, Buddhist, Christian - I’m just praying for an answer. Any takers? A divine comment would work.

Tags: dentist, pain, infection, religion

sharp shooting jaw pain
a vivid memory ache
please, please go away.

Ok, pain haiku doesn’t work well. But darn, it’s still hurting. So back to the oral surgeon to figure out what the heck is causing the pain. I swear, I’ve been in that office more than I ever planned on. They don’t give me nitrous each time either - which would at least make the trip worthwhile.

It’s been super beautiful outside for the past few days, but today is gloom filled and icky. The warm sun has hidden itself, and it feels like a death day. Perhaps that’s because I know there’s someone dying, 30 miles away, that I should be prepared to morn but I’m not.

Tags: pain, tooth, jaw, death

that she likes the smell of your "incest" don’t be alarmed. Julia is hilarious… I guess all three year olds are, and lately she’s been telling me she loves the scent of the incense I burn. Only she’s not too solid on how to pronounce it. My girl…

Things are well at the Munn household. Strange death is afoot, but other than that we’re doing all the mom/dad/kid things that come with spring. Blowing bubbles outside, running around finding interesting twigs and soggy pine cones, and avoiding the doggy landmines that litter the place.

Julia turned three on April 6. She’s getting so big, half the time I think she’s at least 5. She’s scrawled her name once, she can count to 30 and recognizes all letters as well as writing a few. My lil’ babe, what happened to you? She tells me I’m her best friend… she’s mine too.

I’ve actually submitted some poetry, as well as writing my school work AND writing for pay (yay!). This means that I’ve gotten it all back. Well, as much of me is there to get back…

Tags: mom, toddler, writing, birthday