Tori’s Writing Hole

I know, you’re sick of me saying this, but darn it - I’m going to write a book. I’ve gotten further than before this time - this time I downloaded SOFTWARE. See, I’m thinking if I actually dedicate something to just writing my book, I’ll work better. Sounds great, right? Um, well, something has to give me a swift kick in the arse.

I wanted to use yWriter, a freeware application that is supposed to be great for organizing outlines, thoughts, character models, you name it. Unfortunately, it is not available for Mac. Why not, dudes at yWriter? Don’t you know that most creative people (sorry Windows users) use either Macs or Linux (gotta nod to my penguin peeps).

So I searched for a viable alternative. Jer’s Novel Writer is free, well, sort of. It’s super-nag ware, annoying you more and more as you use it. Not good. I will get angry at Jer. And it’s $30 if I don’t want to get angry. So I’m thinking about Scrivener. It’s also not free - but you get a nag free 30 day trial and then the cost (for me, a lowly student) is $34.95. Plus they’re British, and spell things differently like "specialised".

Anyone with experience with either of these is welcome to give me advice. I’m trying, Mom!

Tags: writing, software, free

Usually I’d freak at something with the suffix of -oma (tumor), but I’m so freaking happy about this word. It means my breast tumor is benign. While it’s not perfect - those who have fibroadenomas can have a higher risk of breast cancer later - it’s so, so much better than the alternative.

Phew. One more health crisis, averted, thanks to all of the love and support around me. Oh yeah, and luck.

Tags: breast cancer, tumor, benign

I’m not good at it. Never have been really, I always asked for my presents early, be it Christmas or birthday… I just couldn’t wait another minute to find out what my present would be.

I’m worse now. They massacred my breast with a spring loaded needle that drove into my skin and took out samples. The lidocaine injection pre-op worked just on my skin, but not the tissue below. I feel like I was boob-punched. And of course, there was a mishap - a snagged needle on some breast fibers, which required a snip by the dr. Oh, sorry, that never happened before. Pffft.

So now I’m waiting. Thursday is the day. Dammit, I just want to be able to say that my boobies are free of cancer and that I can go on with my life. That is, until some other crisis causes me to freak out. I really wasn’t lucky in the health department. Kid department, hubby department, sure… but health, aw, hell no.

Crossing fingers and toes, and waiting.

Tags: cancer, boob, procedure

No, I haven’t lost the ability to write. Smushy-smush is Julia’s imaginary friend. She’s three and has an imaginary friend. I’m pretty sure I was at least five before my first imaginary friend appeared, Joobie-Jop. My dad ran him over with the car one day on the way back from my grandparents (did I mention I was quite the morbid child?). Then came Gerten, my second and final imaginary friend. He was about three inches tall and lived in the bathroom (though he could come along on car rides).

But I digress… the similarities between Julia’s lil’ friend and mine are kind of spooky. Smushy-smush is also diminutive, although she’s more like an inch tall from what I can tell. She talks to Smushy-smush in the car - just like I did. But there are differences. Smushy-smush is a "pet", she’s female, and she’s pink and soft.

Want to see a picture?

Quite the cutie, eh? Look for more adventures of Smushy-smush coming soon.

Tags: imaginary friend, daughter, child

Right breast. Two sets of mammograms. 1cm tumor. Needle biopsy on June 17.

Seeing the facts on paper, black and white - horrid. I’m 29.

Benign is my watchword.

Praying to the gods and goddesses, everything will be ok.

It has to be.

Tags: tumor, breast